Wow. Another busy week in the Alta Mesa Stake!
We made a goal to be charitable this week and as we set the goal I said, "The problem with this is that the Lord will definitely see fit to give us opportunities to be charitable now." And he did. So many of them. We (mainly me though) were more annoyed all week than we both have been in a very, very long time. Not at each other, just at flaky people, other drivers, and situations that were out of our control. It was still a great week and all in all everything worked out, there were just a lot of stressful situations where we were late because of things we couldn't control. I hate being late more than I hate people who don't vote. I still need to work on charity, so it will continue to be my goal until the end of my mission probably.
We met a man from Iran who has two wives. One he lives with in the US for 6 months and one he lives with in the Middle East for 6 months. This is real life! He is more Mormon than he realizes he is.
We had a baptism on Saturday! My baptismal numbers have officially doubled! There was a ton of member support and she looked so happy. She has come a long way and has overcome many personal demons over the 18 years she has had interactions with the gospel. We're so proud of her for her complete change and total repentance and 100% dedication to the gospel.
I met a family in our ward at dinner who used to live in Plymouth and was in our stake for two years! They moved a few years after we lived there.
Now it is time for the most entertaining part of our week. It all centers around our investigator who we will call General Mills (GM) because his name reminds me of cereal. Let me start with a physical description before I jump into the joy he brought our life this week. GM is a 70 year old undercover cop who works closely with the DEA to catch drug dealers. He looks like he is actually in his mid-40's and acts like he is a 22 year old Harley Davidson salesman. The man has tattoos all over his body, multiple piercings, chin length, wiry salt and pepper hair, and an interesting sense of style. His nails are often painted black and he has blue tinted glasses perched on his nose. He told us that his platonic roommate turned wife actually told him the first time see saw him that she was scared because, "You drive a big Harley Davidson and look like you're straight out of hell." You're probably thinking, "Wow, the man looks like a drug dealer!" That's because he does. He looks like the people he is trying to catch. He showed us a picture of himself before he had this career and he looked like a normal guy. He is hilarious and doesn't seem like anyone who would ever be remotely interested in the gospel, but he totally is! He has been wanting to make us lunch for weeks and our schedules finally matched up on Wednesday. He asked if he could make us tea and I told him that we don't drink sun tea but that we would talk more about that at lunch. It was the perfect set up for the Word of Wisdom, which we have been wanting to teach him anyway. He was so cute and excited to feed us. When we walked up to his town home we heard all his dogs barking (he and his roommate have 12 dogs because she rescues them). Blaring above he K-9 wailing was he most awful sounding screamo/metal/druid death cries/general ugly sounding music I have ever heard in my life. We just started laughing out loud. Seriously. GM is SEVENTY and he listens to this stuff. He came out all cheery like in black jeans and an open, cut off, button up wolf shirt turned vest with nothing on underneath. We suppressed more laughs and went over to the pool to wait for him (we didn't have a third female so we had to eat and teach outside). During the lesson he randomly said, "Well, I guess I'm getting married this Saturday. The roommate asked me and I said yes." So he just up and decided to marry his roommate, which is a blessing for us because now we don't have a law of chastity issue to deal with! He then invited us to the reception and said that we could bring proselyting materials to hand out if we wanted to! Who does that? Only an investigator who loves the gospel and loves us. He said it was going to be Bohemian and boy was it something else. We were only at the reception about 15 minutes and all of them were gloriously awkward. We walked up to the park pavilion to see him getting a tattoo at his own outdoor wedding reception. I'm not sure what the City of Mesa's policy is on that, but I bet it is not generally recommended. They proceeded to cut their wedding cake with a Samurai sword and handed out miniature Buddha's as thank you gifts. My Buddha will bring me luck in love and Sister Smith's will bring her happiness. I loved everything about our interactions with him last week and can't wait until he gets baptized. Because he totally will at some point in time. Hopefully before the completely arbitrary date of August 11th.
Sister Smith quotes that prove we are meant to be best friends:
"I used to draw Ron Swanson all the time."
"That sign needs a comma. You give the best hugs mom. What's a hugs mom? See? It needs a comma. You give the best hugs comma mom."
"It just proves to me that our bodies are carbon and water. Sometimes they erupt like a volcano."
On a doorstep, after the normal missionary-esque questions have been asked and it seems as if we are about to lose this awesome hipster guy that we just want to share the gospel with/be eternal friends with, "Is that Parks and Rec playing in the background? Sister Poppe is literally Leslie Knope. And I'm Ann Perkins"-SS this lead to another five minute conversation about some worldly things but also his religious background, upcoming marriage, his Mormon family, and his life goals. We are all three besties now. Leslie Knope, what a heart softener.